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Ballsy Bird review: just what we needed, more birds

Ballsy Bird review: just what we needed, more birds

| February 3, 2014

 

Seriously can someone explain to me the obsession with birds? I just don’t get it. Sure they’re fun, but seriously how many 2D bird based games can anyone ever need? A lot, apparently.

Earlier today my colleague reviewed the thumb-blistering, soul-eating, brain-frying monstrosity that is, Flappy Bird and no sooner had I thanked the gods of gaming that she had been cursed with such a task than I was told, “hey Iain, check out Ballsy Bird by Keybol, it’s like Flappy Bird.” Yay…

bird faceplant

My feelings exactly…

And so it was that I, committed journalist I am, came to immerse myself in the world of Ballsy Bird, which had benefit of name which made me giggle. Balls, haha!

Ballsy Bird has the best tutorial ever invented, you can see it down below and honestly that’s all there is to it.

You are a bird who can’t fly, but not in a cool penguin way. You can’t fly in a dickish I will jump on all the other birds and pretend to fly kind of way. You know that kid on Call of Duty who is really bad at the game, then loses his mind to adolescent rage and kills all the members of his team? This is the avian equivalent of him.

There’s only one action in Ballsy Bird : dive. You dive on another bird and bounce up, and then you do it again. The trick is in timing the dives so that there’s always another bird to bounce off. Like Flappy Bird, it sounds simpler than it is and after several hours (yes, several hours better spent doing anything else) I have a grand score of 11. Yeah, I know, 11.

Unlike Flappy Bird, there is some motivation to keep playing. After a certain number of bird stompings you unlock a new bird to play as, and so far they seem regular enough to make you think the next one will be easily attained. But it won’t be, and you will find yourself still playing two hours later, trying to get that bird with the cute black eyes. As far as I can tell there’s no change in the gameplay with any of my unlocked birds so far.

I will get you, you cute eyed bastard.

I will get you, you cute eyed bastard.

Despite the overly simplistic gameplay and the lack of any interesting reward, I can’t delete this game. I want to but I can’t. Ballsy Bird has me by the… (yeah you got it) and it’s not letting go. I have even found myself wondering about these birds: who are they, why can’t they fly, and why are they so damn ballsy?

Ballsy Bird is available for Android and can be downloaded here


  • Flappy Bird review: it’s frustrating, dumb, and ridiculously addictive

flappybird

Flappy Bird is a mobile game that entails being a pixellated bird, flapping, and trying not to hit pipes. It's stupid, frustrating, impossible, and addictive as all hell.



 

Review Overview

Gameplay (Max 4)
1
Graphics (Max 2.5)
0.5
Sound (Max 1.5)
0.5
Content (Max 2)
1
3

Ballsy

The Good: Erm, well it looks, ok, and erm... it's really addictive, wait, is that a good thing?

The Bad: It is what it is.

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